


i never really had it in me, did i?

by redlemonade



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Lowercase, M/M, Mentioned Yoon Jeonghan, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 19:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17628626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlemonade/pseuds/redlemonade
Summary: minghao crosses his legs over each other now. he immediately slouchs back in the wooden chair and says to joshua,"maybe if we just run millions of miles away from each other, then we can be happy again.""what would the point of me being here matter if you were gone?" joshua says sternly while staring off the balcony still, watching vehicles come and go from down below. minghao chokes on his salvia.





	i never really had it in me, did i?

joshua never does much on sundays. usually it's just a cup of ginger tea while sitting on the balcony of his apartment. the same maroon 5 cd was in the radio. he'd always sing along to sunday morning and annoy the downstairs neighbors. 

 

today though was different. his back pressed up against the wooden chair as he sat down the cup and crossed a leg over the other. across him in another seat was xu minghao, his closest friend.

 

the two were old roommates in freshmen and sophmore year of college. unfortunately, this junior year both had been given new roommates. it was to 'help you communicate with others better', the administrator had said. joshua had gotten an apartment though this year anyways so their roommate time together would've still ended quick.

 

they were both into music and art and clicked quite easy. it was friendship as soon as minghao slammed open their dorm door the first day.

 

now here minghao was, sitting in front of him. his feet tapped impatiently on the balcony flooring and his knuckles were tight in his lap. joshua could tell he was trying to stay strong.

 

minghao spoke first. "me and mingyu broke up." he had deadpanned. "we had an awful fight a few days ago and we met today. he told me we were done and i spit on his shoes." a very him thing to do, joshua thinks.

 

"what was the fight about?" he asks.

 

"he complained and said i never had time for him and that i was always with my choreo team. i said he was a shitty rapper and he'd never be successful." minghao worded it down in a paragraph.

 

joshua nods as if thinking to himself, "did you apologize?" the chinese boy nods, "obviously many times. through texts, when we met today.." he counted off his fingers as if to make a point.

 

he talks so much when he's upset. minghao's usually very tough but right now he's showing a side only joshua and mingyu have seen. "i know i went far but cut me some slack! he doesn't got to be a douche. he was the one always out with his friends and blowing ME off." 

 

he continues to rant, "im just so upset. i really liked him and everything aches inside when i think about him, too." this was his first relationship. joshua remembers him saying that once a bit ago. it was self explanatory why he was so upset.

 

minghao rubs his hands down his face. "do you have any advice, josh? this has really got to my head"

 

"it's bad heartache. getting your heart broken sucks, and i'll be here for you through it all till it goes away. you can stay the night if you want to." minghao shows him a toothless grin. "i'd like that. thanks."

 

that smile disappears in seconds though. "i saw him earlier again though during class, before i came here. he looked devastated too." he pauses for a moment but continues soon after, "i feel like im at fault still." 

 

joshua grips his cup after taking a sip while minghao talks and then says something himself. "you're both at fault, honestly. it could have worked out in a calmer manor."

 

minghao looks down at his hands."yeah. but you know me, always gotta yell about something." he bitterly laughs at his own statement. joshua doesn't respond. he instead stares off the balcony.

 

minghao crosses his legs over each other now. he immediately slouchs back in the wooden chair and says to joshua, 

 

"maybe if we just run millions of miles away from each other, then we can be happy again."

 

"what would the point of me being here matter if you were gone?" joshua says sternly while staring off the balcony still, watching vehicles come and go from down below. minghao chokes on his salvia.

 

joshua looks back at his 'dying' friend and quietly giggles.

 

minghao speaks, "why say something like that so suddenly?" he notices minghao's slight pink cheeks. "you're so cheesy, man." joshua chuckles at that and drinks down the last of his beverage. "it is true though, i really care about you hao."

 

minghao huffs a small 'thanks' while clearly embarrassed. "why couldn't that dick mingyu be like you?" he asks, "you're so nice while he's just annoying and clingy."

"that's what friends are for." joshua replies to his rambling. minghao smiles genuinely this time. 

 

they sit in silence now. it's a comfortable kind, though. the sun hits their skin and sometimes a small breeze hits their faces. joshua says something, "how's the thought of being more than friends?" 

 

minghao almost falls from his chair. "what are you saying?"

 

"i mean, let's be best friends." joshua teases him and minghao looked like he lost half his life.

 

"damn it joshua! jeonghan wouldn't be happy with you saying that. besides, im not ready to move on that fast. let me at least show off around mingyu and show him im fantastic without him." minghao playfully winks and joshua laughs once more, a bit louder and harder this time. "of course hao. and that was a joke, don't worry.

 

minghao sighs in relief. "what a jokester you are." 

 

"thanks. learned it all from jeonghan, though." joshua replied.

 

the brunette stands up in front of minghao and gives a toothy grin. the other male follows him in standing as well. "well minghao, we should be getting inside now, it's getti-" he feels arms wrap around his body and he's put in a hug.

 

"thanks for the help." minghao mutters in his ear and pulls back after a few seconds. "i don't even think i need to stay here now, so im gonna held back to my dorm. seungkwan complains when i get back late."

 

joshua's face is a light red. "okay. safe travels, and i'll see you tomorrow." minghao nods back to him and gives a thumbs up before quickly running out with a kick in his step.

 

when the loud boy was gone, joshua put his empty cup in the sink then slouched back on his couch. his heart was beating faster than normal. his chest felt twisted.

 

he picks up his phone that he forgot about hours ago and scrolled through he and minghao's text messages. he felt his heart ache. 

 

maybe joshua did have something for minghao after all, but he wouldn't tell him that. who knows if he ever will.

 

he's happy with just being a friend because he believes friends are less easy to break ties than lovers. and the last thing he'd want to do is lose minghao.

**Author's Note:**

> KSNDNDKD IDK WHAT THIS IS BUT I KIND OF LOVE IT
> 
> i honestly was thinking of joshua and i began writing small prompts of him w other members in my notes and i thought of this one of him and minghao because it just felt really soft 
> 
>  
> 
> hope you enjoy it! honestly it only took about half an hour and i didn't beta so skdndbdndbd


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